Recipe 3

If you didn't have enough recipes yet, then we're back with another one! Don't wear the wrong shirt and you'll do just fine at this "Trifriut's Fruitbowl!" Do you desire to consume? Then follow this easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyfyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeyyyyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeeyyyyyyy recipe! ;3

Ingredients:
3 cups chopped Pineapple
1/2 sliced Fruit
14 canned Brown Suga
2 Winter Jackets (adds a kick!)
13 high insullative boots (Event HARDER kick!)
5.36784 Starbacks lips
9 Mortar
So many tomato juice
5 metric tons of assorted creature fleash (any will do! ;3)
7 one more things
10 Cement carpet pillows

Now let's get to preparing! Now that you reeeeeeallly have  a deep deep desire to consume, let's prepare our recipe!

Firrrrrsta! Assemble a pillow fort to build your satanic- I mean scrumptious recipe! Now that you have your fort, be sure to throw your pineapples like they have no feelings, until they reminisce your assorted creature fleash. Remember, if they could still feel, the pineapples aren't good enough yet! Keep throwing! And remember, break their spirits! ;#

Now that you have enough pineapple carnage, fleeep your mortar to resemble a great leaning tower of emptiness, but you dont want it to be like that. Such a sad tower... lets fill it with pineapple and creature fleash! Oh yes!

Now shower your cheery carnage tower with the so many tomatoe juice! So cheery! This has been certified as the #17 spirit Christmas lifter worldwide! So pooooooouuuuuuurrrrrrrrr like yu meannnnnn itttt itititititititttttt! Pourrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrr juuuuuuu uuuuuiceeee on yourrrrr rrrrrrr babbbbbbbbyyyyyyyy jus sttttttt doooooo ooo itttt!

We must must protecct our precious baby with some very very manipulative boots! Now dont kick the baby, or you will be kicked back! So give your baby and give yourself a nice jacket for the kick!

For extra protection, coat your ENTIRE head in the 14 brown suga because what's better for protection than 14 canned volleyball players, am I right?

Next, we need to get the right texture so that you don't have a flavorful meal that feels like ground hand sculpture after it's been dipped in husband juices. In order to accomplish your hopes from the womb, we must win some one more things in an intense game of poker that includes the exchange of souls. The key to winning is to bluff far more than you should and you can do better than any proffessssssional.

Burn 3 of the Starbacks lips in order to give the dish some color. Whip them into the appealing and delicious slop. Make sure not to become infected by white girl- in order to prevent the pumpkin spice latte disease be sure to include another 2.36784 Starbacks lips. Now you will be a weak dependent male, just like me.

Now we must add the finishing touch- go on facebook and stress about getting the perfect picture. Then buckle under the stress and text your grandmother instead. Go to the bottom of the ocean for the proper atmosphere to enjoy this anything-but-generic fruitbowl. Don't let your pet squid kill you because of your lack of homonyms and remember burger. Always, ALALLALLWAAYS remember burger.

Serve on your child's back after rubbing it with crawfish at night. ENJOY!

Recipe 2

Hey guys, I found another delicious recipe! I'm super excited to share this with you guys! Enjoy!

So, here is my recipe for bread pudding:

Ingredients

16 oz cubed bread

1 stick of butter (healthy amirite)

2 cups sugar

2 cups salt

3 tbs crushed hopes and dreams

4 cubes of soylent green

1 cup nail  clippings of syrian refugee

1 large moose steak

1 jugular

Alright, first steps first. We have to cube the bread. So take 4 or 5 slices and dice em and slice em! Make sure to watch your fingers and not cut them off! Not that it matters anyways, cause the finger bone adds a nice crunch. Ya know what? Just add in the finger bone anyways. Who needs those anyways??

Next dump the sugar and salt and butter into a bowl and mix until the mixture begins to smoke and your fire alarm sets off

After that, we take the hopes and dreams and bring them to school so they can be ground into a fine powder. Dump into mixture from previous step

The next step is to take the cubed soylent green and stir fry for an hour or two till the room smells like the wonderful smell of burning flesh.

Now add all this to the mixture, and pour over the cubed bread in a pan. Bake for 2 hours a 345 degrees.

NOw, you may be thinking, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FRUIT FLAVORED SNACKS". I understand, but you must understand that we have the moose steak and jugular for moral support while baking. So dont call the cops on me, IM just being weird and writing this to freak you out.

So herres and inspirational quote to qualm your sanity

"Daarkness.... is Dark.... and Lightness.... is also dark..... cause in reality.... arent we all just lamp shades floating in the wind?" - Donald Trump 2k16

And yet more procrastination

licorice is only liquor and ice
licor
ice
liquor ice
see
see there

+ice
=licorice


see
i rest my case

anyways, I want to draw a steamroller bike


my hopes and dreams in one object

yeh i should be writing a paper for English... NOPE!!!

betelgeuse is probably wearing a sombrero... maybe betelgeuse is literally a sombrero. a lonely plasma form sombrero floating through space fusing hydrogen atoms. poor hat.

you know, shia lebeouf is actually a bully. around him, dreams can never be who they are around him. he tells people to not let their dreams be dreams, but he can't stop them from being who they are.

thank you for your time.

Pick a papaya
any papaya
plz guys

people, have you followed my warnings? know what acronyms are and don't do burger.
this is not all that you will need. because a healthy growing mind like yours needs quality content like this, another warning is to remember to get your daily dose of no. 'no' is the initial reaction that comes from things like this that are so stupid we can barely comprehend them. you might feel no for a fraction of a second or for weeks on end, but we all needs some no becuz it helps us to know that we are better than no. so here is some more no.

KAFJDCKIWFS
FKJCMISKDJCKSF
troll troll troll troll
doritos john cena smoke weed everyday
(no please don't smoke weed everyday though)

be a joey jojo procrastinator and sit down
be careful out there or you will trip and fall and die
don't do that
that's bad
i have seven toothpicks
my best friend is poultrybuck
i like mops
don't ever meet chef boyardee in real life he will rape you that is bad and traumatic avoid him it's his fault not yours

Procrastination

during every single blog post, i've been procrastinating. i have an email address that i made up and it says that i'm probably procrastinating right now, and every time i type it in i AM procrastinating.
so getting what you want to get done is not a matter of not procrastinating but a matter of just doing it. it is a matter of getting started, and every time you pause to think, not getting distracted. otherwise you'll end up like i am now. procrastinating on a procrastination blog. so if you're reading this, focus and go write that paper, make that phone call, or if this really if your free time, PLZ DON'T GO ;~; there is much more to see here bro
ikjfmcifvlckjilfhojkcm akdfckd dskcksdc dcskjcdsjkdsiWWWWWWWCDSN,WEWJKCS,ALKOIhnhnodkj
that was a secret code. interpret it and check your work below
(the answer is aiwecjo,,jfvsofcjifkswlcdjm wsdkcjsliwrj kfjmlwef jiksmdcjwlc )
need procrastination ideas?
go look up cheesy music jokes.
go look at another blog post
get lost on soundcloud
create a social media account or go to an existing one
sell your mother's favorite jewelry for her
marilize legajuana
abolish slavery
find your true self
make a sandwich out of your pet turtle
don't have a pet turtle? go to a swamp and find a new pet turtle
read this list
stab your sweater
look up magical girl donald trump

Burger Be Danger

Hello
let's write about burgers are danger
Tasty Burger Burger
Burger be dangerous because this is burger:
 Burger from Dark Cloud 2
See? Burger can kill you burger be danger don't do burger

don't do burger burgers are bad

burger=death

burger will kill him now

COULD THIS BURGER KILL YOU?

YES INDEED> THE BURGER DEFINITELY WILL KILL YOU.

we are all going to die

don't be a burgertarian

DEATH BY BURGER!!!!!
deal with it

Languages and

I'm not trying to say that my knowledge of Spanish is impressive, because it most DEFINITELY is not. Just, when you say strange stuff in English and that's your native language, it's just like 'well, anybody could come up with that. So yeah, I know strange stuff in Spanish- I'm so proud no google translate will be used here:

Te gustaría quemar ojos sabrosos a la piscina conmigo

Yo monto las barbillas

Lloro debajo de un cuchillo a las 11:26

Sufrir o no sufrir es la pregunta

A veces su madrastra y yo nadamos para todos personas

Excuse mi español, I know i'm no good at it... but still, languages r fun. 

Marco Rubio es Marco Blonde en inglés

I also changed my background to a whole lot of yunos. There is no escaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Congratulations to whoever is reading this! You have managed to find the stupidest blog ever that hide links in the word escape. Didn't see THAT one coming, did you?

Wait... are you like precognitive or something...

ALSO IMPORTANT DISCOVERY 

ᐤ~ᐤ

LISTSSSS

When you want to make it look like you've written a ton on a page, write a list. When you want to write poetry but not really,

Live
In
Serene
Tranquility

make a list. So I wrote a list of all the books that I remember reading that aren't mangas or picture books and I feel very accomplished. For no particular reason. So my point is...
my point is...?
LISTS WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD IF YOU DON'T HUG YOUR MAILBOX

Another and Elementary Grade Poetry

Oh man.. sorry guys I haven't posted anything for a while but I'm inconsistent like that so it's bound to happen again. Anyways, I watched Another today. I might read the manga eventually but yeah.



So that was really good. Probably because I watched most of it today, for whatever reason I didn't realize that one person was another person who was the same person. Even if you've seen it that doesn't make sense. Here's another backwards spoiler: .gnimoc ti was reveN !nosrep daed eht saw taht rehcaet roomemoh tnatsissa eht saw ohw mom eht saw tnua saw tI I would definitley recommend this if you don't get squeamish too easily. Beautiful art and very interesting and clever story. I'm not gonna say to much more for now... but it's really good.

Now let's look at some poetry I wrote in elementary school.

4th Grade

“The Clock Does Not Stop”

O little clock,

Tick and tock,

What time is it?

O little clock,

Tock and tick,

Do you get sick of it?

O little clock,

Tock and tick,

Tick and tock,

Don’t you ever stop

“Door”

No one ever thanks me

For what I do

I seperate rooms

And give you privacy

But all I get is a slam

I hear your secrets

And I’ve never told a soul

The embarrassing or happy news

And when you’re near I

Lean forward to talk

But you will never hear

Just you listen,

And just you wait,

So one day hear me out will you

“The Chicken and the Egg”

“I got you a bed.”

“Cheap, cheap.”

“No.”

“Cheap, cheap.”

“I got you some nice grain because tonight you will hatch.”

“Cheap, cheap!”

“I can give you to the farmer.”

“Excheapsive, excheapsive!”

“That’s more like it.”

Invitation Poems

Come along with me to Peyton and I’s room.

In your sight there will be brown carpeting, two twin mattresses, picture books, and chapter books.

Also you might spy some pictures,some drawn and some not, pink painted walls, and jackets and purses hanging on hooks.

You never know what you might smell in our house, cooking, our dog, our unidentified aromas. My room smells like nothing, usually.

What you might feel under your feet are lots of toys and a few blankets.

When you’re in our room you can hear my two brothers, Braden and Toby,yelling from downstairs, and the sound of footsteps when someone walks.

Some motions that might occur in Peyton and I’s room are walking, playing, and sleeping.

You could possibly also see lots of drawers and two bars holding clothes: one for an older sister and one for a younger sister.

Please, please, please, join me to my sister and I’s room.

Similes

The chef’s spaghetti was as cooked as a burnt pancake.

What is more is the sauce stuck to the pasta.

I’m coming back for more tomorrow.

The book was as heavily amazing as an elephant.

I read it, on the floor.

It was heavily detailed, but somehow it weighed as light as a feather.

Cinquain

School

Educational, fun

Learning, writing, thinking

I love school lots

Lenski

Swimming

Wet, great

Stroking, breathing, kicking

An awesome exercise awesome

Water

Mother

Kind, busy

Gardening, baking, reading

I love my mother

Caretaker

Flower

Beautiful, fragile

Growing, blooming, drinking

Flowers are very sweet

Plant

Pie

Delicious, messy

Eating, baking, slicing

Pies are all different

Treat

Penguins

Adorable, different

Swimming, waddling, catching

Penguins can be smart

Bird

Haiku

“Spring”

Opening blossoms

Aromas float in the air

Birds are everywhere

“Puppy”

Brand new white puppy

Dashing here and speeding there

Chews on my new shoe

“Water Sport”

Splashing and kicking

Now, guess my favorite sport

Of course it’s swimming

“Blue Spruce”

A tree with beauty

The Colorado Blue Spruce

Grows in the mountains

wow poetry yayyyy no this is terrible. what was i even thinking. now let's look at fifth grade

Dragons

Spread their wings and fly

Way up in the moonlight, high

Blow their fiery breath

And can unleash evil wrath

Dragons

Can be kind and noble

And be supreme and loyal

They can also be betrayers

To help the dragon slayers

Dragons

All do differ

Yet their wings can all be lifters

In some ways are alike to people,

I had got to admit

"Moods"

Sometimes you’re in a leafy dome

With peace all around,

With light coming in in patches

And not a single sound.

Sometimes you’re in the dark,

Very much alone,

Where it looks there is no way out,

No way to find home.

Sometimes you’re surrounded by laughter

With faces wherever you’ve seen,

People you love and adore at

This most exciting place you have been.

Sometimes you’re crossing a bridge

You’re being forced to cross,

And gray skies all around

Very much such.

Sometimes you’re in a kettle,

Boiling and baking bitterly

Steam swirling all around you

Reaching 1000 degrees nearly.

Sometimes you’re in a pickle,

Sour and bitter and green.

Pickle juice in your eyes while

You’re digging, digging, digging.

Sometimes you’re many at once,

And confusion clearly sounds.

This and that or other

Coming on in rounds.

Sometimes there are other things

That you may come to feel,

Except for some more than others

Do come to appeal.

Sometimes you can’t even decide

Which attitude has struck,

But hopefully you will find it

And I wish you the best of luck.

"My Own Nature Haikus"

Rabbit has no speech,

But she hides things under leaves

To be someday found.

Robin has no tongue,

But she lets out voice in song,

In clear, pretty, notes.

Tortoise shows no speed,

Nor was turtle a menace,

But shells are safety.

Squirrel has no bank,

But always deposits food

For the cold winters.

"Not All Things are Beautiful"

We see the sun touch the horizon in the west

After that, the clouds, crescent moon, and the candlelight

We can sail past the stars and see the world below

But not all things are beautiful

Not all things are beautiful

We can watch the grass bend under the wind

A child’s eyes opening for the first time

We can hear the beauty in a  whispering stream

We can watch the ones we love for an eternity

There is the smell and taste of a pumpkin pie

Still, not all things are beautiful

There is the strike of death

Chill of the harmful wind

The famine shows, with fierce, hard blows

There are the insane murderers

Not all things are graceful

The grass grows from a seedling

Working for days, even weeks

But when it pops up, the mouse eats it

The snake eats the mouse

And the eagle the snake

All of this, months and years of hard work

All gone, to help one survive a day

Not all things are graceful

The storm striking down your home

A last, struggling breath of your pet

The caterpillar never becoming a butterfly

An announcement to the world that you have failed your dream

A decade of labor wasted when you don’t succeed

The anonymous tapping every night

The death you feel was all your fault

When your enemy just won’t listen

Your happiness recharging or taking a vacation-

Sometimes, it isn’t bearable

And you want to shut down

Not all things are beautiful

But try to brush of the ugly things

And pay attention to the beautiful

I learned some important things today. I suck at poetry. Something happened. I hope you enjoyed some miserable poetry.