Recipe 3

If you didn't have enough recipes yet, then we're back with another one! Don't wear the wrong shirt and you'll do just fine at this "Trifriut's Fruitbowl!" Do you desire to consume? Then follow this easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyfyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeyyyyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeeyyyyyyy recipe! ;3

Ingredients:
3 cups chopped Pineapple
1/2 sliced Fruit
14 canned Brown Suga
2 Winter Jackets (adds a kick!)
13 high insullative boots (Event HARDER kick!)
5.36784 Starbacks lips
9 Mortar
So many tomato juice
5 metric tons of assorted creature fleash (any will do! ;3)
7 one more things
10 Cement carpet pillows

Now let's get to preparing! Now that you reeeeeeallly have  a deep deep desire to consume, let's prepare our recipe!

Firrrrrsta! Assemble a pillow fort to build your satanic- I mean scrumptious recipe! Now that you have your fort, be sure to throw your pineapples like they have no feelings, until they reminisce your assorted creature fleash. Remember, if they could still feel, the pineapples aren't good enough yet! Keep throwing! And remember, break their spirits! ;#

Now that you have enough pineapple carnage, fleeep your mortar to resemble a great leaning tower of emptiness, but you dont want it to be like that. Such a sad tower... lets fill it with pineapple and creature fleash! Oh yes!

Now shower your cheery carnage tower with the so many tomatoe juice! So cheery! This has been certified as the #17 spirit Christmas lifter worldwide! So pooooooouuuuuuurrrrrrrrr like yu meannnnnn itttt itititititititttttt! Pourrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrr juuuuuuu uuuuuiceeee on yourrrrr rrrrrrr babbbbbbbbyyyyyyyy jus sttttttt doooooo ooo itttt!

We must must protecct our precious baby with some very very manipulative boots! Now dont kick the baby, or you will be kicked back! So give your baby and give yourself a nice jacket for the kick!

For extra protection, coat your ENTIRE head in the 14 brown suga because what's better for protection than 14 canned volleyball players, am I right?

Next, we need to get the right texture so that you don't have a flavorful meal that feels like ground hand sculpture after it's been dipped in husband juices. In order to accomplish your hopes from the womb, we must win some one more things in an intense game of poker that includes the exchange of souls. The key to winning is to bluff far more than you should and you can do better than any proffessssssional.

Burn 3 of the Starbacks lips in order to give the dish some color. Whip them into the appealing and delicious slop. Make sure not to become infected by white girl- in order to prevent the pumpkin spice latte disease be sure to include another 2.36784 Starbacks lips. Now you will be a weak dependent male, just like me.

Now we must add the finishing touch- go on facebook and stress about getting the perfect picture. Then buckle under the stress and text your grandmother instead. Go to the bottom of the ocean for the proper atmosphere to enjoy this anything-but-generic fruitbowl. Don't let your pet squid kill you because of your lack of homonyms and remember burger. Always, ALALLALLWAAYS remember burger.

Serve on your child's back after rubbing it with crawfish at night. ENJOY!

Recipe 2

Hey guys, I found another delicious recipe! I'm super excited to share this with you guys! Enjoy!

So, here is my recipe for bread pudding:

Ingredients

16 oz cubed bread

1 stick of butter (healthy amirite)

2 cups sugar

2 cups salt

3 tbs crushed hopes and dreams

4 cubes of soylent green

1 cup nail  clippings of syrian refugee

1 large moose steak

1 jugular

Alright, first steps first. We have to cube the bread. So take 4 or 5 slices and dice em and slice em! Make sure to watch your fingers and not cut them off! Not that it matters anyways, cause the finger bone adds a nice crunch. Ya know what? Just add in the finger bone anyways. Who needs those anyways??

Next dump the sugar and salt and butter into a bowl and mix until the mixture begins to smoke and your fire alarm sets off

After that, we take the hopes and dreams and bring them to school so they can be ground into a fine powder. Dump into mixture from previous step

The next step is to take the cubed soylent green and stir fry for an hour or two till the room smells like the wonderful smell of burning flesh.

Now add all this to the mixture, and pour over the cubed bread in a pan. Bake for 2 hours a 345 degrees.

NOw, you may be thinking, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FRUIT FLAVORED SNACKS". I understand, but you must understand that we have the moose steak and jugular for moral support while baking. So dont call the cops on me, IM just being weird and writing this to freak you out.

So herres and inspirational quote to qualm your sanity

"Daarkness.... is Dark.... and Lightness.... is also dark..... cause in reality.... arent we all just lamp shades floating in the wind?" - Donald Trump 2k16